Related Quotes
funny beautiful baby
Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating. Doug Stanhope
funny clueless humor
At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless.
funny believe humor
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
funny running sex
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.
funny family food
Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. Douglas Adams
funny sports football
Football is not a contact sport. Its a collision sport Duffy Daugherty
funny humor minutes
Yes, about ten minutes. Duke of Wellington
funny mothers-day mom
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. Dorothy Canfield Fisher
funny errors precision
Be precise. A lack of precision is dangerous when the margin of error is small. Donald Rumsfeld
dad gold mine
My dad had the idea in 1963. As a promotion, it's been a gold mine ever since. Bobby Lee
dad son bonus
Thankfully, in my youth I had the best financial advisor a son could ask for: my dad Walter. When I got that first signing bonus in 1978, Dad took my cheque, announced, 'This is what we're going to do,' and bought an annuity with it. Wayne Gretzky
dad prayer believe
I whispered to Dad during Rosh Hashanah services, "Do you believe in God?" "Not really," he said. "No." "Then why do we come here?" He sucked thoughfully on his Tums tablet and put his arm around me, draping me under his musty woolen prayer shawl, and then shrugged. "I've been wrong before," he said. And that pretty much summed up what theology there was to find in the Foxman home. Jonathan Tropper
dad long-walks feelings
I slid closer, feeling his arms close around me, tightening. Our lips touched-- "Derek?" his dad called. "Chloe?" Derek let out a growl. I laughed and backed up. "We seem to get a lot of that, don't we?" I said. "Too much. After we eat, we're going for a walk. A long walk. Far from every possible interruption." I grinned up at him. "Sounds like a plan Kelley Armstrong
dad coffee phones
Rafe grinned. "So we are dating?" "No. You have to pass the parental exam first. It'll take you awhile to compile the data. They'd like it in triplicate." I turned to my parents. "We have Kenji. We have my cell phone. Since we aren't officially dating, I'm sure you'll agree that's all the protection we need." Dad chocked on his coffee.
dad lying doors
Dad!" he shouted, loud enough to make my ears ring. "Dad! You need to get down here!" (Derek) Chloe held open the door and whispered to me, "I could say he's not always like this, but I'd be lying.
dad people tree
I watched the sheets breathe when she breathed, like how Dad used to say that trees inhale when people exhale, because I was too young to understand the truth about biological processes. Jonathan Safran Foer
dad track way
Can’t you even tell me if I’m on the right track?" Buckminster purred, and Dad shrugged his shoulders again. "But if you don’t tell me anything, how can I ever be right?" He circled something in an article and said, "Another way of looking at it would be, how could you ever be wrong?
dad able your-dad
Your dad didn't die, so I won't be able to explain it to you.
humorists
Great humorists are great insulters. Dick Cavett