Famous Quotes & Sayings

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Coco Chanel

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

Bob Edwards

When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile.

Billy Connolly

When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?

Billy Connolly

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

Brett Ratner

I'm a laugher and a lover of comedy.

Dave Attell

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

Albert Brooks

I, sort of, got into comedy accidentally, and it got bigger than I wanted it to.

Andre Braugher

I just like the joyous aspect of playing comedy.

Tom Hiddleston

I am desperate to do a comedy now.

Arthur Marx

(My father) he would be surprised to know he was still popular today, ... He told me, when he was quitting the Marx Brothers, (that) their kind of comedy was old-fashioned.

Jeff Daniels

Comedy is hard to do. All the cliches about it are true.

Jeff Foxworthy

I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

Jackie Mason

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

Nelson Mandela

I voted for myself. Even if I go to my grave, I will wake up and come and vote.

Jim Mowen

You have to go where the votes are at.

Anna Howard Shaw

The millennium will not come as soon as women vote, but it will not come until they do vote.

Anita Roddick

Every time you buy something consider it a vote of confidence in the company that produced it.

Stephanie Tubbs Jones

Everybody expects that their vote's going to count.

Hillary Clinton

Every call you make, every door you knock, every friend you register to vote could make the difference.

Jeb Bush

Candidates are making lasting impressions on voters, not just primary voters, in how they campaign.

Byron Dorgan

I don't feel responsible for things I didn't vote for.

James Dobson

I would not vote for John McCain under any circumstances.