Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andy Borowitz

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Alberto Manguel

Not until I came to Canada did I realize that snow was a four-letter word.

Aldous Huxley

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Doug E. Fresh

I always say, 'Man, the Creator is preparing me for something. He's keeping the sun on me for some reason. He's keeping me aligned with that generation.' Because I genuinely love people, I love hip-hop, and I love using it as a tool to communicate and to create a better vibration. Life is short. I guess I'm lined up for a reason.

Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

Doug Stanhope

As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.

Doug Stanhope

I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

Doug Stanhope

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.

Doug Stanhope

All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need!

Dick Cavett

Great humorists are great insulters.

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory.

Tom Rose

Once he adjusts to the college game, he's going to be a very good player. He's already very strong.

John Lithgow

I got a wonderful college education. I went to Harvard. In those four years I accumulated a lot of knowledge but I also created a kind of habit of learning that has stayed with me my whole life.

Larry Keating

A lot of pro teams like to play their exhibitions in various places. The NBA likes to go to different places, sometimes college campuses (where their players were popular).

George Cleveland

They got a big pay raise for everyone in the community college system,

Kim Moore

For a long time, we were taught if you go to college and get a job you'll make it in life. It's difficult to make it even with a college education.

Kellen Sampson

It's one of the first times that I've seen his eyes kind of light up. This is the mecca of college basketball.

Polly Adler

It's not the college degree that makes a writer. The great thing is to have a story to tell.

Manny Lopez

It's not ending. We're taking it to college now. That game was not our last together.