Related Quotes
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inspirational life simple
Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way. Charles Bukowski
inspirational success passion
You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing. Dale Carnegie
inspirational motivational success
The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.
inspirational teamwork player
I am very happy to be signing for the best team in the world and especially proud to be the first Portuguese player to join United. Cristiano Ronaldo
inspirational soccer country
To me, being the best means proving it in different countries and championships.
inspirational memories winning
The high point of my career was winning the Champions League. No one will ever erase that from my memory, in the same way that no one will ever erase the fact that I did it in a Manchester United shirt.
inspirational compassion helping
When there's that forgiveness present and compassion, it just helps you live so much easier. Craig T. Nelson
inspirational fool winner
I'd be a fool to surrender, when I know I can be a contender. And if everyone's a contender, then everyone could be a winner. Coolio
inspirational giving one-life-to-live
We got to push to give, and one life to live.
funny new-york divorce
Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage. Allan Sherman
funny girlfriend humor
My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor kids
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.
funny jesus humor
Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny mom couple
My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.
funny baby pain
You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.