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funny clueless humor
At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless. Doug Stanhope
funny believe humor
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt? Doug Stanhope
funny running sex
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do. Doug Stanhope
funny might masters
You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. Donald Rumsfeld
funny sports football
Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck. Don Shula
funny dog blood
Yes, he's got all them different kinds of thoroughbred blood in him, and he's got other kinds you ain't mentioned and that you ain't slick enough to see. Don Marquis
funny pregnancy humor
It takes all sorts of people to make the underworld. Don Marquis
funny birthday time
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. Don Marquis
funny birthday meaningful
Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles. Don Marquis
birthday kids age
The kids are old enough now - I just want to let them be kids. I don't want to comment on them too much. They're at an age where I just want to let them be kids. Eminem
birthday money time
The class distinctions proper to a democratic society are not those of rank or money, still less, as is apt to happen when these are abandoned, of race, but of age. W. H. Auden
birthday march
I want Jess for my birthday March 19. Shelby Futrell
birthday tin cold
Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin Alan Bennett
birthday children nice
My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing. Chris Brown
birthday new-year holiday
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. Charles Lamb