Famous Quotes & Sayings

John Oliver

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.

Cynthia Heimel

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself.

Ambrose Bierce

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Thomas Shadwell

The haste of a fool is the slowest thing in the world.

Plato

Even the gods love jokes.

George Bernard Shaw

Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?

Gene Brown

Foolproof systems to not take into account the ingenuity of fools.

Jay Leno

Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

Matt Stone

He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin.

Richard Dawkins

Science shares with religion the claim that it answers deep questions about origins, the nature of life, and the cosmos. But there the resemblance ends. Scientific beliefs are supported by evidence, and they get results. Myths and faiths are not and do not.

William James

Religions have approved themselves; they have ministered to sundry vital needs which they found reigning. When they violated other needs too strongly, or when other faiths came which served the same needs better, the first religions were supplanted.

William Cowper

Religion, if in heavenly truths attired, Needs only to be seen to be admired.

Tony Wilson

Energy, energy? Energy is, is, it's nothing more than a lot of new age hokum masquerading as religion.

Upton Sinclair

Turn over the pages of history and read the damning record of the church's opposition to every advance in every field of science. . . .

Robert Southey

Without religion the highest endowments of intellect can only render the possessor more dangerous if he be ill disposed; if well disposed, only more unhappy.

Robert Orben

What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?

Robert Matthews

It is now becoming clear that everything can - and probably did - come from nothing.

Katori Hall

I can only speak for myself, but when I was growing up in Memphis - and having the Martin Luther King holiday and the moment of pause on April 4th - he was just a statue to me. I wanted to make him a little bit more real to me as a human being.

Jim Bowden

I think that this situation, one way or another, will be settled by Opening Day in New York City on April 3 -- that day. It might be 10 minutes before game time.

Robert Holden

It is important to note that the delay in the decals is not a current problem for residents, because there is a grace period until April 30.

Kathy Grannis

Last year, it definitely helped March sales in general. So maybe this year, we'll see a nice boost in April sales.

Keith Foulke

I will be ready Opening Day, there's no doubt in my mind. I'm stronger now than I have been in four years. April 3 is a lifetime away.

Jim Nantz

I will never forget April 13, 1986. It was my first Masters, and just as it ended, (CBS analyst) Ken Venturi drove me back to the CBS compound and said, 'Jimmy, you may be lucky enough to broadcast 50 Masters, but you'll never live to see a greater one than the one you saw today.' I think he was right.

Andrew Ross

We look forward to completing this merger prior to the receipt of our new ticker symbol, which is expected to occur on or about April 13th. This merger serves as an important next phase in the reorganization and development of the Company.

Paul Briggs

I have got a warm-up at the end of April and then a rematch for the light heavyweight championship in Chicago, probably in September or October.

Curt Schilling

I don't give two (expletive) when Manny shows up. He'll be ready to play. I don't care. He'll be ready. One thing Manny does is put in his time and effort into getting ready. On (Opening Day) April 3, he'll be here and ready to hit.