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funny clueless humor
At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless. Doug Stanhope
funny believe humor
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt? Doug Stanhope
funny running sex
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do. Doug Stanhope
funny might masters
You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater. Donald Rumsfeld
funny sports football
Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck. Don Shula
funny dog blood
Yes, he's got all them different kinds of thoroughbred blood in him, and he's got other kinds you ain't mentioned and that you ain't slick enough to see. Don Marquis
funny pregnancy humor
It takes all sorts of people to make the underworld. Don Marquis
funny birthday time
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. Don Marquis
funny birthday meaningful
Of middle age the best that can be said is that a middle-aged person has likely learned how to have a little fun in spite of his troubles. Don Marquis
morning sex white
People didn't know who I was or why I was there, so they started inventing stories about me. I was a registered sex offender and I'd just been released from prison and was being forced to do community-service work. I was a murderer, an arsonist - all these horrific things had been projected on me because no one knew what to make of this white guy who showed up and made toast at 5 o'clock every morning. Chuck Palahniuk
morning guy three
I'm the guy that gets up at three in the morning to jot down an entire sheet of lyrics for something that won't be recorded for six months. You have to get it down when you can, because thoughts are fluid. Corey Taylor
morning prayer flower
Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day - like writing a poem or saying a prayer. Anne Morrow Lindbergh
morning weekend definitions
I always wear a dinner jacket. I never have this definition of what goes for the morning or the evening or what works for the weekend. Alber Elbaz
morning powerful fate
I loved Jack because of every little thing about him. The way he laughed, the way he made me smile, the way he'd stay up until nine in the morning watching zombie movies he'd seen a hundred times, and the way he could never hold a grudge. I loved him because I loved him, not because it was fate or destiny or in my blood, We had chosen each other, and that felt more powerful and more magical. Amanda Hocking
morning annoyed mind
During our session, I told Tove about how I'd done mind-speak on Duncan, but it only worked when I was irritated. Using that logic,Tove spent most of the morning trying to irritate me into using it. Sometimes it worked, but most of the time I just got pointlessly annoyed. Amanda Hocking
morning giving making-love
In Rio Bravo when Duke makes love to Feathers, the scene dissolves to the next morning where we see him putting on his vest and almost humming. It was subtle, but you knew what happened. Give me a towel and some blankets any day! Angie Dickinson
morning mean important
Early One Morning takes time and, I mean, all things like that I felt were very important. Anthony Caro
morning eggs political
Let me tell you, sisters, seeing dried egg on a plate in the morning is a lot dirtier than anything I've had to deal with in politics. Ann Richards