Famous Quotes & Sayings

Maisie Williams

Sometimes people think they know you and they go, 'Hey!' and then they realize that they've just seen you on the television. That's kind of funny sometimes.

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Barbara Kingsolver

He had senile dementia and liked to go outside naked, but he could still do two things perfectly: win at checkers and write out prescriptions.

Augusten Burroughs

The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.

Aziz Ansari

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

Ayn Rand

There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist.

Benjamin Disraeli

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

Kenneth Branagh

It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say.

Benjamin Disraeli

Everyone likes flattery; and when you come to Royalty you should lay it on with a trowel.

Amy Poehler

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.

Amy Poehler

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

Amy Poehler

Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better.

Dan Chaon

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Rita Rudner

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

Simon Cowell

I actually don't understand a word Paula's saying anymore. It's like a new language.

Michael Scott

I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.

Martha Stewart

I want to focus on my salad.

Spencer Kayden

I am truly obsessed with Lena Dunham. I find everything about her unique and refreshing. She is a brilliant, hilarious and honest writer who is not afraid to make her audience uncomfortable.

Rain Bojangles

You're just as witty as you feel, just as witty as you feel inside.

Ayn Rand

The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.

Ayn Rand

You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.

Al Capone

Vote early and vote often.

Baltasar Gracian

Many get the repute of being witty but thereby lose the credit of being sensible. Jest has its little hour, seriousness should have all the rest.

Dylan Moran

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty

e. e. cummings

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Dustin Hoffman

The two basic items necessary to sustain life are sunshine and coconut milk.

Abraham Lincoln

Tell the truth and you won't have so much to remember