Famous Quotes & Sayings

Andre Hall

I've done everything I can. I'm excited, but now I'm getting upset. I know I'm going to be upset because I'm not the first running back taken. That already has me mad. I know a lot of dudes will go before me that I know I'm better than.

Jarome Iginla

That one wasn't so funny because he got hurt.

Benjamin Disraeli

When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.

Kathryn Prescott

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.

Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

Demetri Martin

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Demetri Martin

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.

Damon Runyon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Craig Ferguson

A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.

Craig Ferguson

Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.