Related Quotes
funny mom brother
When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor two
There are two kinds of people in this world. The kind who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't. Ann Brashares
funny hilarious humor
When your about to criticize someone walk a mile in thier shoes, that way when you criticize them you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes Ann Brashares
funny travel thinking
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. Andy Borowitz
funny technology hours
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted. Andy Borowitz
funny technology men
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death. Andy Borowitz
funny travel worry
Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting. Andy Borowitz
funny technology giving
Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence. Andy Borowitz
funny technology people
I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. Andy Borowitz
sarcastic eye helping
Nonetheless, I can't help but be flattered that you noticed the latest addition to my collection," he said. She rolled her eyes. "Because personal injuries are such a dignified thing to collect." "Are all governesses so sarcastic? Julia Quinn
sarcastic eye keyholes
He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Molly Ivins
sarcastic tired bored
Somehow I found him. Somehow I found Al's sarcastic thoughts, bitter and old. Tired, angry, bored. Alone. Kim Harrison
sarcastic sea sight
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. Mark Twain
sarcastic sarcasm stubborn
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. Mark Twain
sarcastic jobs real
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that. Mark Twain
sarcastic sarcasm compliment
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. Mark Twain
sarcastic sarcasm would-be
I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. Mark Twain
sarcastic weather doors
In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy. Mark Twain
stars heart order
Love binds people too, in matrimony's sacred bonds where chaste lovers are met, and friends cement their trust and friendship. How happy is mankind, if the love that orders the stars above rules, too, in your hearts. Boethius
stars rocks frustrated
Every comic is really a frustrated rock star. Alex Borstein
stars confused waiting
There's so much craziness that comes along with being a movie star that you can get so confused. Unless you've spent your whole life waiting to be the centre of attention, it's pretty terrifying. Ali MacGraw
stars nice opportunity
If we continue to treat content as an extra to information architecture, to content management or to anything else, we miss a bright opportunity to influence users. Content is not a nice-to-have extra. Content is a star of the user experience show. Let’s make content shine. Colleen Jones
stars luck acting
A business like acting is 90% luck. You can be a star one minute and out of work the next Amber Tamblyn
stars men jean-jacques-rousseau
The star is the ultimate American verification of Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Emile. His mere existence proves the perfectability of any man or woman. Oh wonderful pliability of human nature, in a society where anyone can become a celebrity! And where any celebrity . . . may become a star! Daniel J. Boorstin
stars lying firefly
It's time to make love, douse the glim; The fireflies twinkle and dim; The stars lean together Like birds of a feather, And the loin lies down with the limb. Conrad Aiken
stars lying believe
Mr. Langdon, I did not ask if you believe what man says about God. I asked if you believed in God. There is a difference. Holy scripture is stories...legends and history of man's quest to understand his own need for meaning. I am not asking you to pass judgment on literature. I am asking if you believe in God. When you lie out under the stars, do you sense the divine? Do you feel in your gut that you are staring up at the work of God's hands? Dan Brown
stars world hamburgers
To eat well, I always disagree with critics who say that all restaurants should be fine dining. You can get a Michelin star if you serve the best hamburger in the world. David Chang