Related Quotes
funny new-york divorce
Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage. Allan Sherman
funny girlfriend humor
My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces. Anthony Jeselnik
funny humor kids
Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.
funny wall cancer
Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.
funny jesus humor
Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
funny girlfriend couple
A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
funny mom couple
My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.
funny baby pain
You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.
funny dad father
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
dance good happened hope season turn
I can't think about what happened in 2001 and what kind of season it was. It was a good season. But like I say, I hope I can have a season like that, turn it back around and go to the big dance (this year). Bobby Hamilton
dance hands ideas
Whoever has seen the masked at a ball dance amicably together, and take hold of hands without knowing each other, leaving the next moment to meet no more, can form an idea of the world. Luc de Clapiers
dance leave tomorrow
Dance, dance, dance little lady, / Leave tomorrow behind. Noel Coward
dance good inch left party people space stand thrown time
I want there not to be an inch of space left for people to stand and have a good time and get the beads that are thrown to them and dance and party and just have a lot of fun. Sharon Smith
dance dance-and-dancing equivalent
It's kind of like the dance world's equivalent of the Olympics.
dance great hard physically
It's always hard for me not to dance when I'm on camera; I've had great times doing (TV and movies), but physically I feel very restricted. Bebe Neuwirth
dance mystery edges
Dance on the edge of mystery. Alan Cohen
dance expression people
When you step back and watch people, you realize that we use every single body part. Movement, dance - I find it genius because it's ultimate expression, really. Jude Law
dance flower tree
I did not want to be a tree, a flower or a wave. In a dancer's body, we as audience must see ourselves, not the imitated behavior of everyday actions, not the phenomenon of nature, not exotic creatures from another planet, but something of the miracle that is a human being. Martha Graham
moving long helping
I like 'As Long As You Love Me' and 'Boyfriend' by Justin Bieber. It gets you moving - you just can't help it! And 'Teach Me How To Dougie' gets Zendaya and I every time. Bella Thorne
moving blood unhappy
Your emotions are meant to fluctuate, just like your blood pressure is meant to fluctuate. It's a system that's supposed to move back and forth, between happy and unhappy. That's how the system guides you through the world. Daniel Gilbert
moving thinking keys
I think that's the key to being a director: to be able to get the shot and move on quickly. Bobby Farrelly
moving men feet
There is a calm for you where men and women Unroll the chill precision of moving feet. Allen Tate
moving adventure enough
I've got enough money to live where I want, but I don't want to move.Go out and have sexual adventures in Burma. Allen Ginsberg
moving golf land
Sir Guy Campbell's classic account of the formation of the links, beginning with Genesis and moving step by step to the thrilling arrival of 'tilth' on the fingers of coastal land, suggests that such notable features of our planet as dinosaurs, the prairies, the Himalayas, the seagull, the female of the species herself, were accidental by-products of the Almighty's preoccupation with the creation of the Old Course at St. Andrews. Alistair Cooke
moving perfect giving
I didn't like most of my boyfriends. I'm a perfect example of somebody who will make it work no matter what. Like, I once had a guy move in with me. He was my least favorite. Nobody who went out with us knew that we were together. I just would not give off the vibe. Alison Pill
moving film authority
The State Film Authority will be there for film as industry only, as is the case in all the other states, except Victoria. Victoria is moving more now into supporting non-commercial films. Ann Macbeth
moving together matter
But I know this. We're ready to move forward again in our way. Together or apart, no matter how far apart, we live in one another. We go on together. Ann Brashares