Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Demi Lovato

Growing up in America, I never really appreciated my culture. I knew what being Hispanic was, but I thought that since I didn't look Hispanic, I was white.

Alexander Herzen

We think the purpose of a child is to grow up because it does grow up. But its purpose is to play, to enjoy itself, to be a child. If we merely look to the end of the process, the purpose of life is death

Will Smith

You can't break poor people mentality. Once you grow up poor, you don't take anything for granted. It can have the negative side also because you can never truly be relaxed.

Jon M. Chu

In all my work, I try to tell great stories that people want to go to the movie theater to watch, or want to turn on, and are compelled to watch it, over and over and over again, and will make a mark when they grow up.

Emmy Rossum

I feel like I've come out of this grown up, maybe because I live through the character vicariously and she grows up so much during the course of this story.

James Beard

In a house without a genuine kitchen, one of the delights of growing up is lost.

Norman Reedus

Oh I love horror movies, yeah. I think my favorite movie growing up was 'The Omen.' I actually wanted to be that little kid.

Olivia Culpo

I'd like to start off by saying that every experience no matter what it is, good or bad, you'll learn from it. That's just life. But something I've done I've regretted is probably picking on my siblings growing up, because you appreciate them so much more as you grow older.

Obie Trice

I think I learned the most from Eminem because I spent the most time with him in the studio. Going to L.A. with Dre was a learning experience, just seeing how the dude works and being up-close and personal with a dude whose music I appreciated growing up.