Famous Quotes & Sayings

Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

Anthony Jeselnik

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

Anthony Jeselnik

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

Anthony Jeselnik

Donald, I'm not sure if you're even aware of this, but the only difference between you and Michael Douglas from the movie, Wall Street, is that no one's going to be sad when you get cancer.

Anthony Jeselnik

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Anthony Jeselnik

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

Anthony Jeselnik

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.

Anthony Jeselnik

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Andy Johnson

Some people think that because it's a threatened species, that every one we save is good. But not if they never get to live in the wild.

Andrew Niccol

Some people think 'Lord of War' is a political film,

Daniel Petrocelli

Some people think it's a waste of time to go to trial here.

Liam Hemsworth

Southern people remind me a lot of Australia.

Jim Anderson

So we're trying to let people know that we will automatically enroll them in Part D and there is no premium at all,

Susan Murray

So we're telling people they should know what they're paying.

Mark Rylance

So there's a lot of people tied into believing that the traditional response to the authorship question. In terms of actors, some people get very angry about it.

E. O. Wilson

so that the will of the people can be upheld.

J. J. Johnson

Once you go out and start making plays, they don't say that anymore, ... You just have to play and show people what you can do.

Anne Lamott

Toni Morrison said, "The function of freedom is to free someone else," and if you are no longer wracked or in bondage to a person or a way of life, tell your story. Risk freeing someone else. Not everyone will be glad that you did. Members of your family and other critics may wish you had kept your secrets. Oh, well, what are you going to do?

Alexander Smith

Everything is sweetened by risk.

Robert Wiley

We won't risk him. That's the most important thing,

Adam Hochschild

I can certainly sympathize with writers who don't want to put themselves or their loved ones at risk.

David Jeremiah

Live as a credible witness. If our actions don't line up with the message we're proclaiming, we risk losing our credibility.

Connie Britton

The thing about taking risks is, if it’s really a risk, you really can fail. It’s only a pretend risk if you really can’t fail.

Colin Firth

But this is where you get all the market research and things get in danger of becoming formulaic, and where you depend on brands and getting recognised actors. It's the thing that precludes risk very often, otherwise everyone would be avant-garde all over the place.

Daniel Libeskind

Be innovative. Don't listen to the tried and tested wisdom. Take a risk!

David Morrison

We understand the risk from this object, and while it's small, it's not zero,