Adam Carolla
Adam Carolla
Adam Carollais an American comedian, radio personality, television host, actor, podcaster and director. He hosts The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast which set the record as the "most downloaded podcast" as judged by Guinness World Records in 2011...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth27 May 1964
CityLos Angeles, CA
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor care
Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.
funny humor tuning
If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
shapes way form
Maybe it's weird, but I don't feel in any way, shape or form that I'm taking over his show.
funny dad humor
I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
sex men thinking
I don't like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
christian atheist cancer
There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.
women thinking
Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do...
fall school california
California is like the hot blond high school chick who's been getting by on her looks, but now she's 45 and falling apart.
mean successful thinking
A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
government giving people
[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
life-is
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
bears
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
welfare methadone monetary
Welfare is monetary methadone.
hands common-sense fists
What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.