Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
accessible infection opinions
REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.
cards game played purpose
POKER, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
beating chance conviction enjoy game ingenious keeps man modern permitted player
Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
accident book books-and-reading came dust empty grief knew mighty origin plan poor wide
ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.So wide his erudition's mighty span, He knew Creation's origin and plan And only came by accident to grief -- He thought, poor man, 'twas right to be a thief. --Romach Pute
age-and-aging compound life longer period remain vices vigor
Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
actual attribute element imaginary known perfection quality state
Perfection is an imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.
front outside prevent rubbish
ABATIS, n. Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbish inside.
acting children elephants permitted women
CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
although conviction doctrine joy mortal others sad sincerity somewhat state taught whose
REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
believed exponents famous found limiting practical soldiers though
MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.
court judgment obscure popular
POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
american-journalist disguises foolish lack wise
Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
certain disorder nervous passion
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
bait catch cheese cube die domestic eminent found hear immortal larger poet seldom senator singular trap word
DIE, n. The singular of ""dice."" We seldom hear the word, because there is a prohibitory proverb, ""Never say die."" At long intervals, however, some one says: ""The die is cast,"" which is not true, for it is cut. The word is found in an immortal couplet by that eminent poet and domestic economist, Senator Depew:A cube of cheese no larger than a die May bait the trap to catch a nibbling mie.