Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnikis an American comedian, television host, writer, producer, actor and podcast personality. He is known for his dark comedy style, which emphasizes misdirection, non sequiturs, biting insults, an arrogant demeanour, and a stage persona that frequently takes amoral stances...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth22 December 1978
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
class bored down-and
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble.
baby girlfriend home
Every night, my girlfriend comes home from work, and she brings with her a houseplant. She's like, 'Anthony, I had to pick this up. We need a houseplant in our apartment.' And every night, I make her return it. I say, 'No way, baby. You can't take care of a houseplant. You couldn't even keep your baby alive.'
laughing people inspired
I'm inspired by making people laugh at subjects that should make them cry.
son thinking fire
If your house is on fire and you can only escape with your life and one thing, what one thing would you take out of your house? I got to think my laptop is the one thing that is totally irreplaceable. Either that or my son. Laptop. I'll go laptop.
soccer legs seven
When I was seven, I broke my leg playing soccer. Just to feel something.
mother baby get-away
I will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.
atheist optimistic thinking
I was raised Catholic. I rejected it later on. I'm an outspoken atheist now. People say, 'Oh, it's a negative thing to be an atheist.' I don't agree. I think it's more optimistic to think that there is no God, no afterlife.
dad sorry lying
Every Sunday my dad calls to ask if I went to church. And every Sunday I lie and say: Sorry. Wrong Number.
silly dark people
I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.
albums titles tyson
Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?
girlfriend past years
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.
thinking one-line firsts
I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place.
dog night homeless
I spent all night feeding the homeless to dogs.
guy comedian important
It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn't want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, "I need you guys." I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn't want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me.