Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnik
Anthony Jeselnikis an American comedian, television host, writer, producer, actor and podcast personality. He is known for his dark comedy style, which emphasizes misdirection, non sequiturs, biting insults, an arrogant demeanour, and a stage persona that frequently takes amoral stances...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth22 December 1978
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
comics people takes time trying
I'm not just offensive, I'm very smart about the way that I do it, and that takes a lot of time. People say that young comics shouldn't be trying these things. That's ridiculous. You should try everything and see what sticks.
fodder guy offensive raise tension topics using
I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.
girlfriend addiction car
My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She's always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she's got a chocolate addiction. Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I'm addicted to them. It's really annoying. So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, Do you see that, honey?... Why can't you be that skinny?
girlfriend kings bird
My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.
girlfriend sex believe
My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time.
girlfriend hate night
I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic.
girlfriend men want
My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?
girlfriend yesterday subway
I feel worthless. My girlfriend was attacked on the subway yesterday. And I can't even enjoy it.
passing-away tough difficult
It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.
girlfriend lying guy
I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though...
opposites syndromes
The opposite of sad is down's syndrome.
century meaning-of-christmas gullibility
The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.
nice thinking people
People are surprised that I'm nice and it helps me out a little bit; it's easy to be nice when everyone thinks you're going to be a jerk but if people think you're a nice guy then it's tough because it's what they expect.
girlfriend yelling trying
I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to surf. But I just end up yelling at her the whole time. Because I don't know how to surf.