Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian and writer. Hamilton began his stand-up comedy career at The Comedy Store...
flower sleep smell
The surest way to wake up and smell the roses every day is to go to sleep face down in the flower bed.
virginia mind salary
The Concord Coalition in Virginia complained about pork projects and wasteful spending in the federal budget. Consider the Senate chaplain's salary. As occupations go, only mind readers in Los Angeles have fewer things to do all day.
fall sticks mexico
George W. Bush is so pro-Mexico that if you hit him with a stick prizes would fall out of him.
past blue cnn
The Mars Rover sent back stunning photos [last week] indicating the past presence of water. The pictures show tiny splotches of blue on the Red Planet. The other theory is that the satellite dish on the rover accidentally picked up CNN's election coverage.
years california eight
If it turns out that Barry Bonds used steroids to bulk up and add muscle mass, he could get four to eight years as governor of California
book law support
President Obama shopped at a book store to help support Small Business Saturday. He bought fifteen books. His tax policies and his health care law have been so brutal on small businesses the only way they can survive is if he shops there personally.
house president campaigns
President Obama met with ten House Democrats opposed to the health care bill. He did all he could to get their votes. He promised to campaign for them in their districts and when that didn't work, he threatened to campaign for them in their districts.
nbc tuesday tennis
Wimbledon attracted Bill Clinton to the gallery at Centre Court Tuesday at the All England Club. NBC cameras showed his head turning back and forth with each volley. Even at a tennis match, it looks like he's denying everything.
sex men tuesday
CBS News on Tuesday had Bob Kerrey in a Vietnam scandal, Senator Bob Torricelli in a donor scandal and Arnold Schwarzenegger in a sex scandal. This confirms what we always knew. Bill Clinton does the work of three men.
running guy chinese
Chinese president Jiang Zemin met with former Bill Clinton in Hong Kong Wednesday. What a contrast. One is a ruthless communist who gains popularity by damaging the United States, while the other guy runs China.
running california car
Conoco will build a $75 million plant to see if a process to convert natural gas to liquid fuel is profitable. It has to be. In California, gasoline is so expensive that people are trying to run their cars on cocaine.
country sex fall
Tennis legend Bjorn Borg appeared in a Swedish TV ad urging Swedes to have more sex to solve the country's falling birth rate. America can help. This is a perfect opportunity to name Jesse Jackson ambassador to Sweden.
weather numbers hot
Bill Clinton blasted anti-immigration supporters at the National Council of La Raza convention in Los Angeles Saturday. Thousands of Hispanics poured into Los Angeles for the convention. The hot weather in the desert kept the numbers down.
tests borders three
The Pentagon tested an anti-missile system in New Mexico Wednesday. The test was an incomplete success. While the interceptor was shooting down the incoming missile, three thousand illegal aliens walked right across the border under its nose.