Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian and writer. Hamilton began his stand-up comedy career at The Comedy Store...
taken white house
They’ve taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.
monday white australia
The White House announced on Monday the Prime Minister of Australia will visit President Bush in September. We have a lot in common. Australia started out as a prison colony, while the United States has evolved into one.
years white house
Anne Marie Smith flew to Washington to tell prosecutors about Gary Condit's attempt to get her to deny their affair. It looks bad. If it's found he lied about the intern and the mistresses, he could get 4-8 years in the White House.
white house design
Hillary showed off a new set of White House china at the mansion's 200th birthday dinner Thursday. She said she helped design it. It's thanks to her that all the White House china looks like it's been glued back together.
years california eight
If it turns out that Barry Bonds used steroids to bulk up and add muscle mass, he could get four to eight years as governor of California
tests borders three
The Pentagon tested an anti-missile system in New Mexico Wednesday. The test was an incomplete success. While the interceptor was shooting down the incoming missile, three thousand illegal aliens walked right across the border under its nose.
weather numbers hot
Bill Clinton blasted anti-immigration supporters at the National Council of La Raza convention in Los Angeles Saturday. Thousands of Hispanics poured into Los Angeles for the convention. The hot weather in the desert kept the numbers down.
rights voting trying
U.S. Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz accused Republicans of trying to make it a crime to be an illegal alien. Democrats see a conspiracy plot. First Republicans want to say that illegal aliens are illegal, next they're going to want to take away their voting rights.
book law support
President Obama shopped at a book store to help support Small Business Saturday. He bought fifteen books. His tax policies and his health care law have been so brutal on small businesses the only way they can survive is if he shops there personally.
sleep cupcakes secret
Hostess Bakery plants shut down due to a workers' strike. It was split up. The State Department hired all the Twinkies, the Secret Service hired all the HoHos, the generals are sleeping with the Cupcakes and the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress.
house president campaigns
President Obama met with ten House Democrats opposed to the health care bill. He did all he could to get their votes. He promised to campaign for them in their districts and when that didn't work, he threatened to campaign for them in their districts.
iran mind president
President Obama hosted lawmakers Thursday saying he wanted bipartisan input on health care reform. Nobody's mind was changed. At the summit's end he threatened to go with the nuclear option, showing he's tougher on Republicans than he is on Iran.
nbc tuesday tennis
Wimbledon attracted Bill Clinton to the gallery at Centre Court Tuesday at the All England Club. NBC cameras showed his head turning back and forth with each volley. Even at a tennis match, it looks like he's denying everything.
country new-york golf
Fox News reported Thursday that Bill Clinton can't get into any of New York's better golf and country clubs. Not one member has been willing to sponsor him. So it's official, he really is America's first black president.