Artie Lange
Artie Lange
Arthur Steven "Artie" Lange, Jr.is an American comedian, actor, author and radio show host, best known for his tenures on The Howard Stern Show and the sketch comedy series Mad TV. Born and raised in New Jersey, Lange first worked as a longshoreman and cab driver to help support his family following the death of his quadriplegic father. After making his stand-up debut in 1987, he began a full-time comedy career in 1992, performing stand-up and improv shows throughout the...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth11 October 1967
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.'
I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it.
People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while.
I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.'
When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.
The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.
I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust.
When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.
Unlike a lot of comics, I didn't care about getting on 'Saturday Night Live.' That show had such history and was so established that I didn't see the point.
Only when you're in that ditch, lying there in the muddy runoff you've made of your life, gazing up at the peak you fell from, do you truly know how small you are and understand how tall you used to be.
Thank God I have a financial planner who is really conservative.
When I became a standup comic, my hero, one of them, was Richard Pryor, and you know, I think that comedians, like, comedians talk about hacks, and what a hack is, is someone who does stuff that's not original.
To tell you the truth, I always wanted to be a sketch comedian and a comedy actor.
All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once you're laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what I'm saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.