Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
funny hate rap
The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.
mean stuff turns
If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.
violence getting-along
Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along?
funny humor gun
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
funny humor remember
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!
funny humor water
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
white law people
I see as white people finding loopholes in the slavery laws.
funny humor men
Shaq is rich. The white man who signs his check ... is wealthy. "Ah, here you go, Shaq. Go buy yourself a bouncing car. Bling, bling!"
want plans
The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.
mom country dad
I am just here to support the President of the United States. President of the United States is our boss, but he is also... you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen, and when you don't it will usually bite you on the ass later on. So, I'm here to support the President.
funny book humor
Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!"
funny humor thinking
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.
ghetto soda mediums
When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.
funny humor vcr
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.