Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
cutting skills hair
Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?" And he was like, "Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.
whales car police
Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.
badass darkness toasters
Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
loyalty responsibility sacrifice
For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.
coffee blood evil
She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it.
tantrums machines aliens
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
bruises
Don't bruise the Foo!
reading population looks
Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
doors dragons nuts
The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
nice rehab lasts
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
guy males realizing
Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.
buddhism orange guy
It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.
pieces kind life-is
Life is messy. Would that every puzzle piece fell into place, every word was kind, every accident happy, but such is not the case. Life is messy
light
This Roberto. He no like the light.