Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
etc groups shut-up
Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.
nice rehab lasts
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
one-day circus rolling
One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
real two giving
Perhaps there is a reason that there is no fool piece on the chessboard. What action, a fool? What strategy, a fool? What use, a fool? Ah, but a fool resides in a deck of cards, a joker, sometimes two. Of no worth, of course. No real purpose. The appearance of a trump, but none of the power: Simply an instrument of chance. Only a dealer may give value to the joker.
beast dear
The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.
lice harem
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
tantrums machines aliens
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species.
order sick irony
Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
reading population looks
Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?
doors dragons nuts
The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
dog winter sharks
Winter near the shore is cold. The wind kicks up a salty mist and elephant seals come to shore to trumpet and rut and birth their pups. Retired people put sweaters on their lap dogs and drag them down the street on retractable leashes in a nightly parade of doggy humiliation. Surfers don their wetsuits against the chill of storm waves and white sharks adjust their diets to include shrink-wrapped dude-snacks on fiberglass crackers.
bulletproof hard
Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit
bruises
Don't bruise the Foo!
baby sophie might
She pulled down the blanket and aimed baby Sophie's bottom at him like she might unleash a fusillade of weapons-grade poopage such as the guileless Beta Male had never seen.