Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
ducks paper pants
Charlie Asher: Mrs. Ling, is that duck wearing trousers? Mrs. Ling: Could be . . . . You hear of paper-wrap chicken? This duck in pants.
lice harem
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
ikea brain trying
Well they're pissed off and they're hungry. I was kind of busy trying not to get my brains eaten. They seemed pretty adamant about the brain-eating thing. Then they're going to IKEA, I guess
loneliness broken life-is
Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
brain furniture eating
No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.
i-can angry colorful
I can be most colorful and inventive when I am angry.
humorous challenges may
This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do.
drinking men perfectly-good
Diogenes carried a bowl with him for years, but one day saw a man drinking from his cupped palm and declared, ‘I have been a fool, burdened all these years by the weight of a bowl when a perfectly good vessel lay at the end of my wrist.
bulletproof hard
Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit
eating-disorder cookies stuff
It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies.
mistake baptists john-the-baptist
If there was anything I learned from John the Baptist, it was that the sooner you confess a mistake, the quicker you can get on to making new and better mistakes.
sarcasm differences irony
That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.
nice rehab lasts
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
buddhism orange guy
It's very difficult to stay angry when a room full of bald guys in orange robes start giggling. Buddhism.