Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore
mean immortal stills
Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?
clothes humanity different
Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It wasn't just the clothes and the make up, it was the humanity. He wasn't part of it. Heightened senses or not, he felt like he had his nose pressed against the window, looking in. The problem was, it was the window of a donut shop.
cheese crackers wanted
He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
law vampire cop
Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.
time-travel knows
It's like time travel only, you know, slower...
jesus what-if important
... but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?
teacher children school
As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.
doctors waiting-rooms boring
The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
suicide country art
The Winter Woman is as wild as a blizzard, as fresh as new snow. While some see her as cold, she has a fiery heart under that ice-queen exterior. She likes the stark simplicity of Japanese art and the daring complexity of Russian literature. She prefers sharp to flowing lines, brooding to pouting, and rock and roll to country and western. Her drink is vodka, her car is German, her analgesic is Advil. The Winter Woman likes her men weak and her coffee strong. She is prone to anemia, hysteria, and suicide.
deaf
I fink I gots deaf on me willie.
sheep pet irs
May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.
etc groups shut-up
Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.
daughter sleep night
It was watching Madeline Alby eat cheese with every ounce of her being, like it was the first and best time, that made him realize that he had never really tasted cheese, or crackers, or life. And he didn't want his daughter to live that way. He'd moved her into her own room the night before...He hadn't slept well, and had gotten up five times during the night to check on her, only to find her sleeping peacefully, but he could lose a little sleep if Sophie could go through life without his fears and limitations. He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
mom together tables
I could stand on my head and flick the bean right there at the dinner table and my mom would be all, "Honey, Christmas is family time, we should be together" and make me finish in front of everyone.