David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
rocks giving monkeys
I wouldn't give my troubles to a monkey on a rock.
sweet stars war
I want to tell you though, I'm having the absolute best birthday ever. Last night -- this was so sweet, it means a great deal to me -- the other cult members got together and they all took me out to see Star Wars.
running president faces
Mitt Romney is not going to run for president. Mitt said it's time for fresh faces. So that's good news for Bruce Jenner.
queens kings arabia
In the last 48 hours King Abdullah from Saudi Arabia passed away. I have a moral dilemma. The king passed away three or four days ago. Is it too soon to hit on Queen Latifah?
country ohio waiting
John Boehner is a member of a country club in Ohio. It turns out that the bartender was plotting to poison Boehner. Now wait a minute. Isn't that the movie with Seth Rogen and James Franco?
house free-time
I spend most of my free time under the house.
names iraq republican
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
football new-york congratulations
Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.
trying today sitting
Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.
differences people wish
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
wall phones two
I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
use bedroom
Don't use your bedroom for work, unless you're a prostitute.
running talking fake
Donald Trump is talking about running for president. He hasn't made an announcement, but I want to tell you something. The fake suspense is killing me.
new-york night light
To save energy, New York City is now dimming the lights of the skyscrapers and the skyline at night. There's a bad side to this. If you need Batman, you have to text him.