David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
bombs dropped four god pound saddam states united
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
people needs united-states
People say we need royalty. We have royalty in the United States - the Kardashians.
approval-rating isis united-states
The United States has launched airstrikes against ISIS. It's being called 'Operation Approval Ratings.'
education comedy states
Donald Trump had a university. Well, the state attorney general decided that the Donald Trump University was an unlicensed sham. And I thought, you know you're at a bad university when your commencement speaker is Whitey Bulger.
family sad
It is a sad day for his family and for the country,
comedian horrible one-thing
All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
jerk disappointing admire
It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk.
prison be-good shipwreck
I'm very resourceful. I'd be good in prison. I'd be good in a shipwreck. I'd make a great hostage.
dark night drunk
Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.
talking air feelings
About half an hour before air time - that's when I become hyper. I put everything else out of my mind and just let that nervous energy surge through my body. I start talking faster and louder. My confidence comes up. It's actually a great feeling.
jobs fun beer
I knew that if I woke up hung over, I couldn't do the best possible job on the show, so I had to quit. Also, I'd consumed a lot of beer for a lot of years, and I thought, That's enough. I've had my fun and I'm glad I quit.
thinking paris iraq
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag.
mean years bob
I'll be 50 years old tomorrow and that means, among other things, that now Bob Dole can start telling jokes about me.
storm middle-east caught
So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power.