David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
korea circles evil
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and Kim Jong Un had him executed. I remember the same thing happened when a guy used Martha Stewart's personal lemon zester.
bars blame snooki
Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.
valentine rose together
Valentine's Day money-saving tips: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. In place of bubble bath, use lavender-scented dish-washing liquid. Forget rose petals. Sprinkle the bed with sliced beets!
new-york cities liberty
It was so cold in New York City today that the Statue of Liberty had her torch under her dress.
childhood wish complaining
Childhood. I wish I had something to complain about.
apology working-very-hard secret
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.
dog spring confused
The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.
sex newts wells
Newt Gingrich is against same-sex marriage. Well, actually, he's against same-marriage sex.
thanksgiving ramadan doe
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
god retirement dvds
He has been greatly missed since his retirement ... Thank God for videotapes and DVDs. In this regard, he will always be around.
running gentleman problem
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
funny dog numbers
Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window.
would-be campaigns let-me
Let me just say this: You know your campaign is not going well when you open a press conference by saying, 'I told you there would be more lewd photos'.
running new-york cities
I pulled a hamstring during the New York City Marathon. An hour into the race, I jumped off the couch...