David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
nsa numbers
Now all of us can talk to the NSA -- just by dialing any number.
hands two iphone
Did you get the new iPhone yet? The iPhone that I have is outdated. It has two pieces and a hand crank.
nudists pants
You'll never catch a nudist with his pants down.
korea circles evil
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and Kim Jong Un had him executed. I remember the same thing happened when a guy used Martha Stewart's personal lemon zester.
wall phones two
I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
children your-children work-day
Bring Your Child to Work Day -- that's how we got George W. Bush.
flower valentine problem
Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I.
funny travel land
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.
morning son want
I'm so excited for my son. On Christmas morning I want to see his face, to be there when he opens the gifts. I want the see what my assistants got him for Christmas.
central-park sparrows today
I saw a robin redbreast in Central Park today, but it turned out to be a sparrow with an exit wound.
white news meat
In pop culture news, Lady Gaga got married. And yes, she was wearing white meat.
mean thinking guy
George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: "A reformer with results." I don't know what it means [but] I think it's better than his old campaign slogan: "A dumb guy with connections.
men thinking pounds
Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Donald is a big man, I think 230 pounds -- 235 with cologne.
talking air feelings
About half an hour before air time - that's when I become hyper. I put everything else out of my mind and just let that nervous energy surge through my body. I start talking faster and louder. My confidence comes up. It's actually a great feeling.