Deborah Tannen
Deborah Tannen
Deborah Frances Tannenis an American academic and professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. She has been McGraw Distinguished Lecturer at Princeton University and was a fellow at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences following a term in residence at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, NJ...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionSociologist
Date of Birth7 June 1945
CountryUnited States of America
men issues independence
The desire for freedom and independence becomes more of an issue for many men in relationships, whereas interdependence and connection become more of an issue for many women.
fighting views argument
Public discourse requires making an argument for a point of view, not having an argument - as in having a fight.
men decision natural
Many women feel it is natural to consult with their partners at every turn, while many men automatically make more decisions without consulting their partners.
equal-treatment people ifs
Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.
girl way obvious
Girls are not accustomed to jockeying for status in an obvious way; they are more concerned that they be liked.
communication life-is conversation
Each person's life is lived as a series of conversations.
war taken fighting
It's our tendency to approach every problem as if it were a fight between two sides. We see it in headlines that are always using metaphors for war. It's a general atmosphere of animosity and contention that has taken over our public discourse.
sex communication men
The Pavlovian view of women voters - plug the words in, and they will respond - sends a chill down my spine because it sounds like an adaptation of something I have written about communication between the sexes: When a woman tells a man about a problem, she doesn't want him to fix it; she just wants him to listen and let her know he understands. But there's a difference between a private conversation and a presidential election, between what we want from our leaders.
running two-sides long
When people realize that in the long run you may be turning off the audiences more, even though they will look temporarily--in the end they turn away, we really need to develop other metaphors and not talk about two sides, but talk about all sides.
keys understanding might
The key to conversation at work is flexibility and understanding how what you say might be perceived by others.
love-is promise wish
The allure of love is to have someone who knows you so well that you don't have to explain yourself. It is the promise of someone who cares enough about you to protect you against the world of strangers who do not wish you well.
mind doe smashing
In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds.
men doors connections
The chivalrous man who holds a door open or signals a woman to go ahead of him when he's driving is negotiating both status and connection.
mother daughter complicated
It can be the best of relationships and the worst of relationships - often at the same time. The bond between a mother and daughter is one of the strongest, but it's also among the most complicated.