Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
world wonderful futons
Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.
nicknames example want
Cottonballs are an example of something I'd want to buy, but not have as a nickname.
love-is
Love is, and I hope it never isn't.
pie no-respect clown
Clowns have no respect for pie.
funny kids thinking
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
games comedy
To me, comedy is a game.
funny girl eyebrows
I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.
funny thinking mind
I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really romantic" "No, umm... I actually... never mind"
funny baby cake
I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over...
funny procrastination pie
This is a pie chart about procrastination.
sweet hands balls
Cotton balls is an example of something I would buy, but not want to have as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, on the other hand, is something I would buy and want to have as a nickname. 'Are you Cinnamon Buns?' 'You bet your sweet ass I am.'
funny smell muffins
Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'
home jars pennies
I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.
car drivers ten
You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.