Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
shows
I never set out to do a sketch show.
years fans comedy
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.
funny cute girl
I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.
stones glass-houses throwing
My policy is no stone throwing regardless of housing situation.
winning body proud
I'd love to win trophies, be in movies, have a body of work I'm proud of and find a way to enjoy it along the way. Success is probably a more of a complicated thing than that.
pie mouths faces
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
inspirational funny dream
A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
digital cameras reminiscing
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
batteries dramatic break
Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.
men unreliable
I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.
needs
I need to develop some patience - immediately.
sleep pairs causes
I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.
hands numbers broke
I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.
world wonderful futons
Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.