Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
good-person persons ifs
If you have a lair then you are probably not a good person.
listening today conversation
Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
tic-tacs tics mint
Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.
dark looks want
I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.
baby ironic littles
It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.
knights refrigerators magnet
Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.
mean thinking way
There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?
mean giving advice
Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?
good-morning hope im-sorry
I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'
funny comedian actors
The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.
drinking wine white
Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.
australia boomerang chiefs
The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).
fighting cannibal
Every fight is a food fight when youre a cannibal.
running zebras doe
How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.