Demetri Martin
Demetri Martin
Demetri Evan Martinis an American comedian, actor, artist, musician, writer, and humorist. He is best known for his work as a stand-up comedian, being a contributor on The Daily Show, and his Comedy Central show Important Things with Demetri Martin...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 May 1973
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
behavior
Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.
thinking caves never-forget
Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.
night years two
Conclusions are based in time. We live in time. So any definition of success is bound up with time. With other things you can say, "Can I yo-yo? Can I juggle?" Usually you have a pretty small window in which to get your answer. Stand-up is different. You can't do stand-up for one night and say, "Am I a funny stand-up comedian?" In two months or two years you'll start to realize it.
wise starting credibility
If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.
men parades traffic
Parades are man's attempt to make traffic exciting.
drinking house sleepovers
There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.
thinking years waiting
If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.
squirrels looks uptight
To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.
waiting important helpful
It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.
vampire gears cleaning
It turns out dentists don't like it very much when you show up for a cleaning in full vampire gear.
opposites unicycles knows
I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.
dog distance fighting
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.
way beard faces
Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
balance credit cards
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.