Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
funny atheist humor
Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
zero dark people
It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.
used used-to-be sceptic
I used to be sceptic, but not anymore, because now I am positive that I'm getting screwed.
sleep shut-up nancy
We've got Nancy Pelosi. She never shuts up. It's just occasionally we have to hood her like a falcon so we can get some sleep.
smart people dumb
The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.
reality men thinking
A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.
funny witty humorous
I rant, therefore I am
funny running humor
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
nice house littles
I have a nice house. And when somebody says it's a palace, I always feel like we're digging a little or something.
song jobs couple
I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song, you can't always get what you want, i.e., the grail. Sometimes you get what you need. And whatever she's gotten over the last couple of years, being humbled or be it being humbled and see the proletariat come to bat for her, getting outside of the bubble, getting out of this man's shadow, not quite getting the job she wants but a great wonk job.
inspirational funny travel
My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.
civilization cartoon fiction
They have an amazing proliferation of TV channels now: The all-cartoon channel, the 24-hour-science fiction channel. Of course, to make room for these they got rid of the Literacy Channel and the What's Left of Civilization Channel.
brain driven humans
I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.
football alphabet tyson
I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.