Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller
Dennis Milleris an American stand-up comedian, talk show host, political commentator, sports commentator, actor, television personality, and radio personality...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth3 November 1953
CityPittsburgh, PA
CountryUnited States of America
years fake politics
But the biggest fake of the year, Paul Begala's last smile
years ice long
In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that 'if I had wanted to ice the little toad, I would have done it a long time ago.
years data differences
There's a lot of differing data [about global warming], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on this planet has gone up 1.8 degrees. Am I the only one who finds that amazingly stable? I could go back to my hotel room tonight and futz with the thermostat for three to four hours. I could not detect that difference.
hate race years
Campaign analysts say that Dean has produced the most innovative web site in this year's presidential race. I particularly like today's blog, which consisted of the sentence 'I hate myself,' typed four billion times. In Dean's case, this may be the first instance where the actually entity represented by the web site has crashed more often than the site did.
powerful years guy
Forbes magazine has named Mel Gibson this year's most powerful celebrity. ... Forbes' least powerful celebrity? [Miller displayed the widely circulated image from the Lynndie England photographs of a hooded Iraqi prisoner with wires attached to his outstretched arms] You're looking at him. Screw this guy. ... [He's a] bad guy.
years environmental horizon
There's no more delicious irony on the face of the Earth than environmental protesters being led away in plastic handcuffs that have a biodegradability horizon line of, like, 40,000 years.
teacher years trying
Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.
marriage couple years
After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms . . . both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
gossip coins lightning
I find it shocking that anybody can be brought down in D.C. for gossip, ostensibly. I thought that was the coin of the realm there. That's like getting hit with lightning on a cloudless day.
mother crazy party
When your mother starts using the word "party" as a verb about her kid, that's absolutely crazy.
dog thinking pavlov
I think [Ann Coulter] understands that, she's Pavlov's dog. She gets the corn kernel if she hits that drum once in a while.
thinking bills ive-changed
I've changed after 9/11. My friends are still my friends.Bill Maher is my friend. I don't agree with a lot of what he says. And there are times I think, "Oh, my God. How could he say that."
mud hell holes
When you're sharing a mud hole with a wildebeest derriere in sub-Saharan Africa, that's a living hell.
horny shows factors
I like the show [Factor] because it's horny, but it's not skeevy. Where else are you going to get that nowadays?