Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
cancer eye want
I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me... I don't want to know I have cancer till it's visible to the naked eye.
battle goes-on stage
I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.
coward society misused-words
Coward is the most misused word in our society.
alcohol vodka wells
If I have to be a monotheist, y'know pick one, I'm picking vodka, it goes well with everything, all occasions.
drinking drug lasts
I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.
beer waiting excess
Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.
pussy flaws mankind
Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!
boiler-room stuff rooms
I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.
punishment tickets vices
Every vice is already a punishment in itself... you don't need a ticket on top of it.
supposed-to-be
The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.
favors needs killing-yourself
If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.
mutation enough exciting
Mutations are exciting, there aren't nearly enough of them.
progressive-society progressive institutions
The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.
pigs dainty
There's times to be dainty and times to be a pig.