Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
athletic musical attention
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.
drinking axes games
I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?!
cancer boredom drug
Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.
wall yelling drunk
I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.
judging used alcoholics
I used to be a partier, now I'm an alcoholic. It's all in who's judging you.
military college people
Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they're idiots and college wasn't going to help.
drug drank
I drank, smoked and did drugs to get where I'm at.
school awkward bullets
He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.
sleep trying sober
Did you ever try to sleep sober?
odds vegas boring
Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.
drug done needs
If you have a good product. You don't need to advertise. You've done drugs? Did you ever see them advertised?
angry
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.
people done alligators
People wrestle alligators but not once has someone done it without an audience.
disease easy pot
Pot is to narcotics what herpes is to social diseases; it doesn't count cos it's not really dangerous and it's too easy to get.