Harriet Lerner
Harriet Lerner
Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.,is a clinical psychologist and a contributor to feminist theory and therapy. From 1972 to 2001 she was a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas and a faculty member and supervisor in the Karl Menninger School of Psychiatry. During this time she published extensively on the psychology of women and family relationships, revising traditional psychoanalytic concepts to reflect feminist and family systems perspectives. Her son is the National Book Award-nominated poet and novelist Ben Lerner...
Harriet Lerner quotes about
two people want
The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don't want to.
two views intimacy
We commonly confuse closeness with sameness and view intimacy as the merging of two separate I's into one worldview.
wise fear self
Throughout evolutionary history, anxiety and fear have helped every species to be wary and to survive. Fear can signal us to act, or, alternatively, to resist the impulse to act. It can help us to make wise, self-protective choices in and out of relationships where we might otherwise sail mindlessly along, ignoring signs of trouble.
communication knowing matter
the body, seeking truth, sends a signal. But decoding it, interpreting its meaning, and knowing how to proceed from there is another matter entirely.
change
We all fear change, even as we seek it.
sex judging-people diagnosis
Judging people for whom they love (a same sex partner) rather than by whom they harm, should in itself merit a psychiatric diagnosis.
trying helpful sometimes
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to stop trying to be helpful.
family-and-friends our-relationship partners
You can't evaluate a prospective partner if you insulate your relationship from your family and friends--and his.
book self insecurity
Self-help books for women are part of a multibillion-dollar industry, sensitively attuned to our insecurities and our purses.
inspirational trying different
If what we are doing with our anger is not achieving the desired result, it would seem logical to try something different.
anger self problem
Many of our problems with anger occur when we choose between having a relationship and having a self.
family world firsts
The first world we find ourselves in is a family that is not of our choosing.
friendship true-friend vision
The more we seek exclusivity in friendship, the more it becomes obligatory and the less likely it is to fulfill the wonderful vision of what true friendship can be.
two intimacy intensity
Intensity is not the same as intimacy, although we tend to confuse these two words.