Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld is an American comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 April 1954
CityBrooklyn, NY
CountryUnited States of America
rip roots hair
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
guest home inviting tv
When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face.
disregard fallen total trap
We've fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.
sportsman
I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist.
humor
Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.
humorous phones wish
I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."
theater audience trapped
I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped.
heads-up
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
nice water surfing
A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.
soap tiny muscles
I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular-sized and my muscles are huge.
couple moving coffee
Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"
nice office house
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass.
daughter wife house
My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
keyboards tunes truth-is
The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you're playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you're single, you're just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.