Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids
Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
How many airports are there in the world?
I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.
Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.