Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.
I think being successful in comedy is being funny and making jokes - anything beyond that is the icing on the cake.
I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.
I'm not worried about the Third World War. That's the Third World's Problem.
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol
It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.
There was one time where I failed to perform sexually. My girlfriend said to me "oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys". Ok, there are two things wrong with that. First of all who are these other guys?, and second of all if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be YOUR fault?
When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!
Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you're just finding your feet.