Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.
When I was a kid I had an imaginary friend and I used to think that he went everywhere with me, and that I could talk to him and that he could hear me, and that he could grant me wishes and stuff. And then I grew up, and I stopped going to church.
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.
I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...
The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.
Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.
They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.
There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.
I like to write a joke without any fat on it. The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.
I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.