Jimmy Carr
Jimmy Carr
James Anthony Patrick "Jimmy" Carris an English stand-up comedian, television host and actor, known for his signature laugh, deadpan delivery, dark humour, and use of edgy one-liners. He is also a writer, actor, and presenter of radio and television. Carr moved to a career in comedy in 2000 and has become a successful comedian. After becoming established as a stand-up comedian, Carr began to appear in a number of Channel 4 television shows, becoming the host of the panel show...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth15 September 1972
If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.
The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.
My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.
Say what you want about the deaf...
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other...
I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.
How many airports are there in the world?
Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it
My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."
Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.