Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewartis an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and former television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth28 November 1962
CountryUnited States of America
gay men stopping
Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!
night two feet
I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
prayer stupid new-orleans
It upset me that, five days after the hurricane hit down in New Orleans, the President's plan was for a day of prayer. I would have thought a truck of food. A day of prayer. Now, maybe I'm mistaken here and, again, I'm not a scientific expert, but isn't a hurricane officially an act of God? Isn't a day of prayer kind of redundant? Hasn't God already made up his mind on that sort of thing? So we do a day of prayer. The President has his stupid day of prayer. Three days later, Hurricane Rita hits. Somebody must have said something... something like, is that all you got?
impossible-things done want
Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that our just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it's something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.
tyrants suffering ifs
If Obama's a tyrant, he's a pretty tame tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they can't get cloture?
comedian citizens fiber
As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
sense-of-humor frustrating ifs
Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
gay lifestyle-choices people
I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
bills bill-o-reilly my-friends
My friend Bill O’Reilly is completely full of sh*t.
two president done
Yes, it seems that as the President (George W. Bush) comes to the end of his two terms, he's finally realized the best way to get things done for you, is for you to do it.
waiting scripts machines
Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!
lapd refreshing beaten
How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
yams balls may
Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'...
gay iran president
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims there are no homosexuals in Iran, just like there are no gay conservatives in the US.