Justin Halpern
Justin Halpern
Justin Samuel Halpern is the American author of the Twitter feed "Shit My Dad Says" and the best-selling book Sh*t My Dad Says. He was also the co-writer and co-executive producer of a CBS television situation comedy series based on the book. His second book I Suck at Girls was published in 2012 and was the basis for the 2014 television show Surviving Jack...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionAuthor
Date of Birth3 September 1980
CountryUnited States of America
writing dumb way
There is no definitive guidebook on how to pick the right partner, and even if there were, I'm way too dumb to write it.
unique choices special
The thing with Bill Shatner is he brings something unique to everything he does. He's not the obvious choice for anything, but he always brings something special to it.
real ideas people
The Internet has really democratized ideas. There are no real gatekeepers any more, because if you have a great idea, and you put it online, people will find it and it will get in front of who it needs to get in front of.
people made
When it's asshole-tightening time, that's when you see what people are made of. Or at least what their asshole is made of.
kids league laughing
On My Last-Place Finish in the 50-Yard Dash During Little League Tryouts “It kinda looked like you were being attacked by a bunch of bees or something. Then when I saw the fat kid with the watch who was timing you start laughing…. Well, I’ll just say it’s never a good sign when a fat kid laughs at you.
thinking people car
Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that I was the male equivalent of a Toyota Camry. You know: No one ever says, "I have to have a Toyota Camry." But most people who spend some time in a Camry start to like it. "It's pretty reliable," they think. "It doesn't have a lot of problems, and it's not bad to look at. You know what? I'd probably prefer a nicer car. But I can live with a Camry.
girl fall emotional
[The] majority of the girls working there had major emotional problems. And not cries-too-much emotional problems; more like stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself emotional problems.