Justin Halpern
Justin Halpern
Justin Samuel Halpern is the American author of the Twitter feed "Shit My Dad Says" and the best-selling book Sh*t My Dad Says. He was also the co-writer and co-executive producer of a CBS television situation comedy series based on the book. His second book I Suck at Girls was published in 2012 and was the basis for the 2014 television show Surviving Jack...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionAuthor
Date of Birth3 September 1980
CountryUnited States of America
nice thinking always-trying
People are always trying to tell you how they feel. Some of them say it outright, and some of them, they tell you with their actions. And you have to listen. I don't know what will happen with your lady friend. I think she's a nice person, and I hope you get what you want. But do me a favor: Listen, and don't ignore what you hear.
nice home past
On Furnishing One's Home - Pick your furniture like you pick a wife; it should make you feel comfortable and look nice, but not so nice that if someone walks past it they want to steal it.
unique choices special
The thing with Bill Shatner is he brings something unique to everything he does. He's not the obvious choice for anything, but he always brings something special to it.
san-diego los-angeles herpes
Los Angeles is like San Diego's older, uglier sister that has herpes.
nice people needs
Sometimes its nice when people you love need you.
creative garbage sweatpants
If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.
bullshit house tornadoes
You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.