Les Dawson
Les Dawson
Leslie "Les" Dawson, Jr. was an English comedian, actor, writer, and presenter, who is best remembered for deadpan style, curmudgeonly persona and jokes about his mother-in-law and wife...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth2 February 1931
sexy funny-sex found-objects
My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.
stars moon night
I was sat at the bottom of the garden a week ago, smoking a reflective cheroot, thinking about this and that - mostly that, and I just happened to glance at the night sky and I marvelled at the millions of stars glistening like pieces of quicksilver thrown carelessly onto black velvet. In awe I watched the waxen moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an amber chariot towards the void of infinite space wherein the tethered bolts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever in their orbital majesty; and as I looked at all this, I thought, 'I must put a roof on this lavatory.
long mind self-improvement
I don't mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored.
latin ideas tunes
I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.
doors years wife
Last year my wife ran off with the fellow next door and I must admit, I still miss him.
moon space heaven
In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.
christmas mother running
My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.
sleep doctors wife
I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.
kids wife allowing
I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.
funny life hilarious
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
love-is giving needs
I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.
powerful feminist facts
Despite the fact that feminists say they're not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful.
names linked knows
I know my name will always be linked with women.
wife thank-god hissing
I discovered the wife's got asthma. Thank God - I thought she was hissing at me.