Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
god men next
No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
lying praying found
You can't pray a lie -- I found that out.
thinking uncomfortable ifs
And I urge upon you this - which I think is wisdom - if you find you can't make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don't you go.
children dates either happened occasion rule seem
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates - 1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion
certain circumstance denied desperate furnishes profanity relief trying urgent
In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
death die either geniuses themselves thousands
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
giving furniture break
Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.
men perfection trying
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
men trying noise
You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
country men judging
So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
running fun advice
Never run after you own hat - others will be delighted to do it; why spoil their fun?
funny truth world
I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
funny truth statistics
All generalizations are false, including this one.
hate people justice
I hate to hear people say this Judge will vote so and so, because he is a Democrat -- and this one so and so because he is a Republican. It is shameful. The Judges have the Constitution for their guidance; they have no right to any politics save the politics of rigid right and justice when they are sitting in judgment upon the great matters that come before them.