Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyerand its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth30 November 1835
CountryUnited States of America
morning prayer reading
I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair.
thinking luck opinion
Persons who think there is no such thing as luck good or bad are entitled to their opinion, although I think they ought to be shot for it.
thinking compliment enough
I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
funny wise money
Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
thinking complaining resentment
I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.
country apology done
I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does".
men average trouble
The average man don't like trouble and danger.
inspirational relationship inspiring
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
real names use
We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
running records errands
I'm merely running some errands. This is now off the record.
men practice strange
Strange is the man who practices his religion.
heart intellect reason
You can't reason with the heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
fall skins legs
The existing phrasebooks are inadequate. They are well enough as far as they go, but when you fall down and skin your leg they don't tell you what to say.
angel sarcasm men
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'